Monday, 14 January 2013

I just… I don’t know… I

My life is full, it’s how I want it, it’s busy and challenging and happy.

Running a business, managing a household, keeping Toppie happy, keeping clients happy, keeping the children happy,
making lunch, cleaning house, dressing kids, feeding dogs, feeding kids, costumes on, costumes off, making sure the
creepy crawly is running, making sure the network works, breastfeeding baby, fetching the kids from school, putting the
kids to bed, making dinner, dealing with tantrums, discipline, spending time with the kids, making time for me and
hubby, making time for friends, making time for family. I just….

My life is full, full of people that care, full of love, full of happiness. Yet I’ve never felt more lonely or out of control or
unhappy. I’m exhausted yet not. Don’t feel like I’m coping, I don’t know what to do, I need a holiday yet I’ve just had
one. I need a hobby but don’t have time for one. I need a friend yet I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for.
I’m knowledgeable yet haven’t felt more stupid in my life.

I want to run away, but feel bad for wanting to, and don’t really want to all at once. I try to hard and I don’t try at all.
My thoughts are rational, yet i’m completely irrational at the moment. The smallest thing puts me in a tizz. I need to
figure this out, it’s all too much. I’m trying to keep it all together yet i'm falling apart at the seams.

Cheers vir Eers

- Toppie se Vrou

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