Dear Beverley

Last week Jess at fromtheretohear took a lot of slack from you for posting about her bad mommy moments.

Now I’m not an English major, but I’m pretty sure there’s a difference between “moment” and “always”.

According to the Oxford Dictionary the Definition of moment is very brief period of time”. I can understand if the post was about always being a bad mommy and that would then definitely be cause for concern for neglect and abuse of a child. But the post was about moments that she felt like a bad mommy.

The next thing I can say is I am guilty of ALL of the bad mommy moments mentioned, I have two beautiful boys aged 1 and 3 and my baby girl will be born in 6 weeks. I am by no means a BAD, NEGLIGENT or ABUSIVE mother, even though I may sometimes get “lazy” and not always do the best I can.

As for the bad moments, I thought I’d break them down for you, as they aren’t as bad as Jess feels they might have been….

1. Not Sterilizing bottles all the time

a. Our midwives, who have been midwives for over 20 years now, said that from 6 months old it is not necessary to sterilize baby bottles, as long as you wash them well.

b. If you are washing your baby bottles in a dish washer, there is no need to sterilize them at all as the dishwasher reaches high temperatures that effectively sterilize baby bottles during the cycle.

2. Using tap water in baby bottles

a. The same principle applies, once baby is over 6 months old, it is not necessary to boil the tap water, unless you are in an area that has a low quality water supply, in which case you yourself wouldn’t even drink it.

3. Not changing baby’s wee nappy for 9 – 10 hours

a. If you’ve spent decent money on a quality nappy, you would know that they are absorbent and that forgetting to change baby that one day out of many, does not give them a nappy rash. Also we all leave our babies in nappies for at least 12 hours over night, those are sometimes wee and poo.

b. Have you looked at how pampers advertise their Active baby nappies??? “Our New softest ever Active Baby for up to 12 hours of dryness”, that’s not even the premium care nappies that Jess uses.

4. Feeding your child purity instead of some cooked meal

a. Well I don’t know about you, but it’s not always easy to prepare a cooked meal when your baby is hungry and time doesn’t always allow for it. At least baby is getting food.

5. Not bathing baby everyday

a. Experts say babies need only bath 1 – 2 times a week, why??? “Newborns don't need a bath every day. In fact, a lot of babies get rashes and dry skin from too many baths. Until your baby's umbilical cord stump falls off, wash her with a soft sponge or cloth instead of putting her in the tub. When the cord has healed, she only needs a bath once or twice a week. After a few months, daily baths are fine (though not necessary), but use a moisturizer as soon as she's out of the tub. --Sharlene K. Johnson”

6. Leaving baby in a poo nappy to be changed at school

a. Wow, really now, you’ve never ever ever left your baby once they’ve messed themselves so that you could get to work??

I guess the above speaks for itself that the things Jess thinks make her a bad mom sometimes are actually not ad things. The other items she thinks make her a bad mom are minor in comparison and show she’s human. Her baby isn’t sick because of the above, some children have weak chests, my son Coel does and we have had a nebulizer for him since he was 3 months old because of it.

I also need to mention that I’m a work from home, stay at home mom who runs my own company. This is stressful; it’s difficult to try making sure you make enough money each month to cover your and your children’s needs. I can’t imagine how hard it must be not to have the father making a contribution or assisting with the daily tasks of raising a baby. I am fortunate to have a hands on, helpful husband. Yet, I struggle with all of these moments all the time.

I know Jess and have spent time with Aiden, he is a happy, growing baby boy who is well looked after and cared for. He is most definitely not abused or neglected in any way.

The TRUTH of the matter is, you can’t handle that someone could verbalize something others aren’t brave enough to.

Cheers vir Eers

- Toppie se Vrou


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