Tuesday, 9 October 2012

I never understood, but now I do….



You hear of moms who drink castor oil, run 10km or stick a knitting needle up there to induce early labour. I’ve never understood how they could do that, its crazy right?

This is my third pregnancy, and I’ve never enjoyed pregnancy at all. Yes, I did it 3 times. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children, I love them with all my heart. I just wish there was a way to get them without having to be pregnant. Maybe one of those alien like machines where you can watch your baby grow, from a distance and go fetch them when 9 months is up?



Yesterday I had my last checkup with the doctor. I’ve been hinting at having baby at 38 weeks since the 2nd visit. I went to the doctor, hospital bag packed, ready for him to book me in and take Codi out. I really have had enough, I’m so hormonal, I’m nasty to the kids and my Toppie, I’m grumpy, I feel fat. My hands and feet are on fire, my body is aching in places I didn’t even know I had. I’m tired of not being able to pick things up or move normally or fit into my normal clothes. I’m tired, sluggish and really just want a break. I work for myself so my maternity leave is the equivalent of the 3 days I’m in hospital and I want that! My 3 days off!!!



Maybe it sounds a little selfish, but I don’t want to be pregnant anymore. After basically begging the doctor to take Codi out yesterday and being looked at like a bad mother because I didn’t want to hear the “medical” reason he couldn’t take her out yet. I left the hospital in tears, cried for about 3 hours, and spent the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself.



I now completely understand why women would go to such extremes to get “Un-pregnant”. For a fraction of a millisecond I thought of considering it. I would never do anything to hurt my child though and I’m not crazy. I just understand now.



Cheers vir Eers

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